The Cosmopolitan: Anal sex - Truth or dare?
Janie Cavanaugh
Issue date: 2/22/06 Section: Editorial/Opinion
02/22/06 - When my good friend Abigail told me of her problem last semester I thought that she was making it up at first. She told me that she broke up with her last boyfriend because one night as they were about to have sex (in a somewhat primal position...), he took it upon himself to attempt the unthinkable: he tried to enter through the back door.
This disturbing and highly inappropriate scenario ended when she wheeled around and threw his sorry ass out and never spoke to him again. To be sure, I have respect for the women among us who are fans of anal sex, though I have never been interested in it myself. I have heard from my friend Erin that this form of sex is horrible and should never be attempted, but then another friend told me that it is amazing and must be explored.
Regardless, I couldn't help but be alarmed and uncomfortable at the idea of a man attempting that without some kind of verbal permission-slip. This story got me wondering, do many men expect this? And if so, what is their view on that particular situation? I took my question out to lunch the other day and got my answer.
It turns out (according to my sources), that most of the men I spoke with were "horrified" by the tale (of course I had her permission to discuss this, no e-mails please). In fact, they said that none of them could imagine breaching trust in that way.
They claimed that the incident was definitely an isolated one, and that judging the behavior of all men based on a solitary experience of a friend would not be accurate. I said "thank you" for their time and rose to leave. The guys started to talk amongst themselves. Then the truth emerged.
"Wow, did he really do that? Just put it right in? He didn't say anything to her before?" one of them wondered to me. He smiled a bit, and covered his mouth with his sleeve. Turning to one of his friends, he said, "Man can you believe that guy?"
To be sure the statement was one of incredulous admiration, not horrification: he was proud of this nameless fellow that had "gone and done it" without consent. Another guy asked me if she called him again, I told him that no, she was not interested in the vile individual.
This disturbing and highly inappropriate scenario ended when she wheeled around and threw his sorry ass out and never spoke to him again. To be sure, I have respect for the women among us who are fans of anal sex, though I have never been interested in it myself. I have heard from my friend Erin that this form of sex is horrible and should never be attempted, but then another friend told me that it is amazing and must be explored.
Regardless, I couldn't help but be alarmed and uncomfortable at the idea of a man attempting that without some kind of verbal permission-slip. This story got me wondering, do many men expect this? And if so, what is their view on that particular situation? I took my question out to lunch the other day and got my answer.
It turns out (according to my sources), that most of the men I spoke with were "horrified" by the tale (of course I had her permission to discuss this, no e-mails please). In fact, they said that none of them could imagine breaching trust in that way.
They claimed that the incident was definitely an isolated one, and that judging the behavior of all men based on a solitary experience of a friend would not be accurate. I said "thank you" for their time and rose to leave. The guys started to talk amongst themselves. Then the truth emerged.
"Wow, did he really do that? Just put it right in? He didn't say anything to her before?" one of them wondered to me. He smiled a bit, and covered his mouth with his sleeve. Turning to one of his friends, he said, "Man can you believe that guy?"
To be sure the statement was one of incredulous admiration, not horrification: he was proud of this nameless fellow that had "gone and done it" without consent. Another guy asked me if she called him again, I told him that no, she was not interested in the vile individual.
