The Lucy Doxy Comedy Hour featuring Pat Stevens: Lizzie vs. Lohan, Dox vs. Lucy
Benjamin Lueck, Justin Sayles and Pat Stevens
Issue date: 4/28/04 Section: Entertainment
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04/28/04 - Lucy: Every so often, an actress comes along and speaks for and to a generation. Hepburn, Monroe, a different Hepburn - these are names that define the indescribable. While the twenty-first century has already seen a few shining stars, we've yet to have an actress step up and stake her place as Hollywood royalty.
Sure, we've got our Naomi Watts and our Scarlett Johansson and our Cate Blanchett and our Uma Thurman, but where is that special lady who will go down in history as our Queen of Cinema? Well, she's here, her name is Lindsay Morgan Lohan and she'll no doubt serve as a timeless icon for, uh... the generation below ours.
Dox: The girl from Mean Girls? Yea, she's alright... if you like Aaron Carter's recycled goods. The closest that girl got to hot was rocking Jaime Lee Curtis's wrinkled skin for 90 painstaking minutes I call Freaky Friday.
See, the girl I'm talking about isn't just another prepubescent sex symbol. She's her own franchise, like J. Lo or Paul Newman. Music, movies, clothes, my dreams... she's got it. The one I'm talking about is Hilary Duff, and as soon she becomes a woman, or at least gets her driver's permit, I'm making my move.
Lucy: Have you even seen Freaky Friday? It's freaking hilarious. It's no Lizzie Maguire, but to be freaking frank, not everyone can afford to pay for premium cable just for the Disney Channel. And has Hilary Duff ever starred in a movie alongside Lou Reed and a giant sheepdog, singing David Bowie songs (Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen)? Yeah, I didn't think so.
Lindsay even has a beverage named after her, the Freaky Phantom. The only other people who've been commemorated through phantoms are Ted Williams, the Black Leprechaun and Santa, and I think that says it all. Besides, not only can Lindsay drive, but she can also get into an R-rated movie without the accompaniment of a parent or guardian.
Dox: Well, David Bowie hasn't been relevant since he freaked Mick Jagger. Plus, is yours a freaking rock star? Yea, I didn't think so. Lizzie... I mean Hilary, combines the looks of a less slutty Liz Phair with the pop-powered-disco-angst of a younger, thinner chick from Blondie. Plus she's rich like an Olsen-twin without all that creepy little Michelle baggage.
So talk all you want about Lindsay Lohan junk, but Hil's an icon in the eyes of little sister's everywhere. No ma'am on the Lohan... and what in the name of Duff is a Freaky Phantom?
Pat: Hilary Duff is built like a linebacker. [Lindsay Lohan] is dope.
Sure, we've got our Naomi Watts and our Scarlett Johansson and our Cate Blanchett and our Uma Thurman, but where is that special lady who will go down in history as our Queen of Cinema? Well, she's here, her name is Lindsay Morgan Lohan and she'll no doubt serve as a timeless icon for, uh... the generation below ours.
Dox: The girl from Mean Girls? Yea, she's alright... if you like Aaron Carter's recycled goods. The closest that girl got to hot was rocking Jaime Lee Curtis's wrinkled skin for 90 painstaking minutes I call Freaky Friday.
See, the girl I'm talking about isn't just another prepubescent sex symbol. She's her own franchise, like J. Lo or Paul Newman. Music, movies, clothes, my dreams... she's got it. The one I'm talking about is Hilary Duff, and as soon she becomes a woman, or at least gets her driver's permit, I'm making my move.
Lucy: Have you even seen Freaky Friday? It's freaking hilarious. It's no Lizzie Maguire, but to be freaking frank, not everyone can afford to pay for premium cable just for the Disney Channel. And has Hilary Duff ever starred in a movie alongside Lou Reed and a giant sheepdog, singing David Bowie songs (Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen)? Yeah, I didn't think so.
Lindsay even has a beverage named after her, the Freaky Phantom. The only other people who've been commemorated through phantoms are Ted Williams, the Black Leprechaun and Santa, and I think that says it all. Besides, not only can Lindsay drive, but she can also get into an R-rated movie without the accompaniment of a parent or guardian.
Dox: Well, David Bowie hasn't been relevant since he freaked Mick Jagger. Plus, is yours a freaking rock star? Yea, I didn't think so. Lizzie... I mean Hilary, combines the looks of a less slutty Liz Phair with the pop-powered-disco-angst of a younger, thinner chick from Blondie. Plus she's rich like an Olsen-twin without all that creepy little Michelle baggage.
So talk all you want about Lindsay Lohan junk, but Hil's an icon in the eyes of little sister's everywhere. No ma'am on the Lohan... and what in the name of Duff is a Freaky Phantom?
Pat: Hilary Duff is built like a linebacker. [Lindsay Lohan] is dope.
