Spring Break
E=MC2 isn't genius but proves Mariah's still got it
Caity Cudworth
Issue date: 4/15/08 Section: Entertainment
04/15/08 - I'm sure that while Albert Einstein was slaving away over his theory of relativity, he could only dream that one shining, glorious day it would grace the cover of a mildly insane pop star's comeback album.
Well, for better or worse that day has come.
Mariah Carey, whose recent career has mostly just been a mixture of shiny spandex, nervous breakdowns and horrible, horrible movies ("Glitter" is now code for "f***ing awful movie." Also, has anyone seen "State Property 2"? Exactly.) is back with a new album full of more of the same club jams and love songs she's been dishing out for over a decade.
The first single off the album-ambitiously titled E=MC2- is the instructional "Touch My Body." "I want you to caress me /Like a tropical breeze /And float away with you /In the Caribbean Sea," Carey sings. The lyrics on this track sound like they were copped from a supermarket romance novel. Romance novels are all well and good (if you like your literature to include at least one brawny shirtless guy riding a horse as wild and untamable as his passion) but it comes off a little awkwardly on the track.
But the award for the best line in "Touch My Body" goes to: "Cause they be all up in my business like a Wendy's interview." Right. Because I hear those interviews at Wendy's are pretty intense-they want to know if you have, like, a criminal record and stuff. But, for my peace of mind, I damn well hope Wendy's is "all up in [your] business" during their screening process. It's just not safe to have an ex-con messing with your Frosty.
To Carey's credit, however, the video for "Touch my body" is actually pretty great. It's bizarre and a hilarious soft-core porn complete with a unicorn, laser guns and computer nerd wearing a Viking helmet. Carey's videos are always kind of ridiculous, but this is the first one that seems intentionally so-and it works.
Like pretty much every other song on the radio these days, the track "Migrate"-the next single slated for release- features T. Pain ("Ayy! T. Pain!"). It's a breathy track with distorted flutes about the migration process from "after party to hotel."
Well, for better or worse that day has come.
Mariah Carey, whose recent career has mostly just been a mixture of shiny spandex, nervous breakdowns and horrible, horrible movies ("Glitter" is now code for "f***ing awful movie." Also, has anyone seen "State Property 2"? Exactly.) is back with a new album full of more of the same club jams and love songs she's been dishing out for over a decade.
The first single off the album-ambitiously titled E=MC2- is the instructional "Touch My Body." "I want you to caress me /Like a tropical breeze /And float away with you /In the Caribbean Sea," Carey sings. The lyrics on this track sound like they were copped from a supermarket romance novel. Romance novels are all well and good (if you like your literature to include at least one brawny shirtless guy riding a horse as wild and untamable as his passion) but it comes off a little awkwardly on the track.
But the award for the best line in "Touch My Body" goes to: "Cause they be all up in my business like a Wendy's interview." Right. Because I hear those interviews at Wendy's are pretty intense-they want to know if you have, like, a criminal record and stuff. But, for my peace of mind, I damn well hope Wendy's is "all up in [your] business" during their screening process. It's just not safe to have an ex-con messing with your Frosty.
To Carey's credit, however, the video for "Touch my body" is actually pretty great. It's bizarre and a hilarious soft-core porn complete with a unicorn, laser guns and computer nerd wearing a Viking helmet. Carey's videos are always kind of ridiculous, but this is the first one that seems intentionally so-and it works.
Like pretty much every other song on the radio these days, the track "Migrate"-the next single slated for release- features T. Pain ("Ayy! T. Pain!"). It's a breathy track with distorted flutes about the migration process from "after party to hotel."
