Spring Break
Sex & the Cigar
Gettin' freaky Rhody style
Issue date: 10/2/08 Section: Editorial/Opinion
10/02/08 - Dear Sex and the Cigar,
The dorm room just isn't cutting it anymore. I'm looking to spice up my sex life by doin' the old in-and-out in public places. Can you recommend some on-campus locales to poonj*?
- Thrill Seeker
Dear Thrill Seeker,
We at the Cigar have witnessed one couple bumpin' uglies in the backseat of a black four-door in the Union parking lot on a few occasions (we saw you last Sunday - yeah, you with the Massachusetts license plate), but we think we can help you come up with some more creative spots.**
For starters, try the Quadrangle. It's a classic spot. Getting down and dirty in nature just might bring out the exhibitionist in you. Students can do some research from the privacy of their dorm rooms by utilizing the newly installed Quad Cams, which provide a live feed on URI's Web site.
Also, try the laundry room after hours. Some of those folding tables are pretty sturdy. For the more adventurous, hop on top of the washing machine after you toss your dirty laundry in - fun and efficient!
Feeling brazen? Sneak up to the balcony in Edwards Auditorium during a dull lecture and brush up on your anatomy.
In the Fine Arts Center, private rehearsal booths are perfect for fine-tuning your instruments. Plus, they're soundproof and can be reserved ahead of time.
If you're looking to act out that teacher-student fantasy, where better than President Carother's backyard?
Head to the president's house at the intersection of Campus Avenue and Upper College Road to score some ass in the grass. The well-manicured hedges keep it classy.
And finally, a former Dunkin' Donuts employee suggested a nice shag behind the building. With plenty of privacy, you can have your doughnuts and eat them, too.
Just one suggestion - dining halls are off limits. Don't screw where you chew.
Hope that helped!
P.S. we hear the College Republicans office is a sweet spot, check out the Sarah Palin poster … sexy.
*According to urbandictionary.com: "Poonjegay,"- The Ojibwe tribe's word meaning, "to dip meat in grease," was shortened by Minnesota teenagers to "poonj," meaning sex.
**We take no responsibility for charges pressed as a result of this column.
Bambi and Scarlet invite you to sumbit your stories and questions. E-mail us at sexandthecigar@gmail.com.
The dorm room just isn't cutting it anymore. I'm looking to spice up my sex life by doin' the old in-and-out in public places. Can you recommend some on-campus locales to poonj*?
- Thrill Seeker
Dear Thrill Seeker,
We at the Cigar have witnessed one couple bumpin' uglies in the backseat of a black four-door in the Union parking lot on a few occasions (we saw you last Sunday - yeah, you with the Massachusetts license plate), but we think we can help you come up with some more creative spots.**
For starters, try the Quadrangle. It's a classic spot. Getting down and dirty in nature just might bring out the exhibitionist in you. Students can do some research from the privacy of their dorm rooms by utilizing the newly installed Quad Cams, which provide a live feed on URI's Web site.
Also, try the laundry room after hours. Some of those folding tables are pretty sturdy. For the more adventurous, hop on top of the washing machine after you toss your dirty laundry in - fun and efficient!
Feeling brazen? Sneak up to the balcony in Edwards Auditorium during a dull lecture and brush up on your anatomy.
In the Fine Arts Center, private rehearsal booths are perfect for fine-tuning your instruments. Plus, they're soundproof and can be reserved ahead of time.
If you're looking to act out that teacher-student fantasy, where better than President Carother's backyard?
Head to the president's house at the intersection of Campus Avenue and Upper College Road to score some ass in the grass. The well-manicured hedges keep it classy.
And finally, a former Dunkin' Donuts employee suggested a nice shag behind the building. With plenty of privacy, you can have your doughnuts and eat them, too.
Just one suggestion - dining halls are off limits. Don't screw where you chew.
Hope that helped!
P.S. we hear the College Republicans office is a sweet spot, check out the Sarah Palin poster … sexy.
*According to urbandictionary.com: "Poonjegay,"- The Ojibwe tribe's word meaning, "to dip meat in grease," was shortened by Minnesota teenagers to "poonj," meaning sex.
**We take no responsibility for charges pressed as a result of this column.
Bambi and Scarlet invite you to sumbit your stories and questions. E-mail us at sexandthecigar@gmail.com.
