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Thanksgiving special: be thankful for new president, R. Kelly's acquittal
Caity Cudworth
Issue date: 11/25/08 Section: Entertainment
11/25/08 - When the Pilgrims dropped anchor at Plymouth they couldn't have envisioned that their little freedom experiment would one day grow up to be kind of a big deal. True, the Native Americans already had dibs on the bleak (yet ruggedly majestic) landscape, but it's hard to argue with stern, pointy-hat-wearing people who think they're on a mission from God.
Especially when those people have muskets and smallpox.
But celebrating Thanksgiving isn't about contemplating the gruesome specter of social injustice - (if that's how you celebrate Thanksgiving, better wash your turkey down with a hefty dose of Prozac) - it's technically about gratitude.
Thankfully though, we've come a long way since the days of the Mayflower Compact. Because unlike the Pilgrims who spent their time on leisure pursuits such as chopping large quantities of wood and spreading incurable infectious diseases - we now have a cornucopia* of ways to spend our free time.
And while the Pilgrims basically just had religious freedom, corn and bare survival to be thankful for,** we, happily, have a bounty of blessings for which to give thanks.
2008 may have had its ups and downs, but it was still a great year for being thankful. Here are a few things worth their weight in gratitude.
Check it:
First of all, let's be thankful that, after eight long years we finally have a president who can string more than five words together without lapsing into sadly ironic grammar mistakes ("rarely is the question asked: is our children learning?") - or ominous nonsense that sounds like the moral of a low-budget sci-fi movie ("I know the human being and the fish can coexist peacefully").
Yes, after eight years our most "misunderestimated" president will be packing up, shipping out and can at long last go back to doing what he does best: clearing brush, choking on pretzels and ignoring world affairs.
So, if nothing else, give up some gratitude for the fact that we no longer have a commander in chief who would, in all likelihood, go home empty handed on "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader."
Especially when those people have muskets and smallpox.
But celebrating Thanksgiving isn't about contemplating the gruesome specter of social injustice - (if that's how you celebrate Thanksgiving, better wash your turkey down with a hefty dose of Prozac) - it's technically about gratitude.
Thankfully though, we've come a long way since the days of the Mayflower Compact. Because unlike the Pilgrims who spent their time on leisure pursuits such as chopping large quantities of wood and spreading incurable infectious diseases - we now have a cornucopia* of ways to spend our free time.
And while the Pilgrims basically just had religious freedom, corn and bare survival to be thankful for,** we, happily, have a bounty of blessings for which to give thanks.
2008 may have had its ups and downs, but it was still a great year for being thankful. Here are a few things worth their weight in gratitude.
Check it:
First of all, let's be thankful that, after eight long years we finally have a president who can string more than five words together without lapsing into sadly ironic grammar mistakes ("rarely is the question asked: is our children learning?") - or ominous nonsense that sounds like the moral of a low-budget sci-fi movie ("I know the human being and the fish can coexist peacefully").
Yes, after eight years our most "misunderestimated" president will be packing up, shipping out and can at long last go back to doing what he does best: clearing brush, choking on pretzels and ignoring world affairs.
So, if nothing else, give up some gratitude for the fact that we no longer have a commander in chief who would, in all likelihood, go home empty handed on "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader."
