Spring Break
Sex & the Cigar
Don't hate the playa, hate the game
Scarlet Buns
Issue date: 2/20/09 Section: Editorial/Opinion
02/20/09 - Ever wonder if your significant other is creepin? Want to know why an ex did?
Well fear not my faithful readers, because I recently attended a seminar put on by the Multicultural Greek Council titled "Why we cheat" and gained some valuable insight as to what runs through the minds of cheaters.
Guest speakers at the event were University of Rhode Island psychology professor, Paul Bueno de Mesquita and HDF graduate student, Brea Burger.
The first and most important thing I noticed throughout the seminar was that men and women have very different opinions concerning what is cheating and when it is appropriate. This columnist thinks that ANY sort of infidelity is cheating. Whether is be emotional or physical. Honesty in a relationship is the most important. And if you can't trust the person you're with, how fulfilling could the relationship possibly be?
A lot of men disagree and think that emotional infidelity, like talking, is not a big deal. I'm not referring to general conversation. I'm referring to the new meaning that the word "talking" has gained in the last few years; where you're not officially established as a couple but it's understood that you're together. Men think of it as keeping their options open in case their soul-mate, or whatever you believe in, is still out there.
From a psychological standpoint, Mesquita defined a lasting love as having three things: passion, an intimate friendship, and commitment. So according to this theory, the relationship that these men are in is not a lasting, loving relationship. So why bother to stay in the first relationship if you're not totally committed?
Mesquita seemed to think it was just the opposite, that "cheating is way of ending the relationship without the confrontation. I don't think we as a people, know how to end a relationship."
Whatever happened to the dreaded, "we need to talk?" When did we become so cowardly that we're unable to get out of a relationship that makes us miserable without completely disrespecting the other person?
Well fear not my faithful readers, because I recently attended a seminar put on by the Multicultural Greek Council titled "Why we cheat" and gained some valuable insight as to what runs through the minds of cheaters.
Guest speakers at the event were University of Rhode Island psychology professor, Paul Bueno de Mesquita and HDF graduate student, Brea Burger.
The first and most important thing I noticed throughout the seminar was that men and women have very different opinions concerning what is cheating and when it is appropriate. This columnist thinks that ANY sort of infidelity is cheating. Whether is be emotional or physical. Honesty in a relationship is the most important. And if you can't trust the person you're with, how fulfilling could the relationship possibly be?
A lot of men disagree and think that emotional infidelity, like talking, is not a big deal. I'm not referring to general conversation. I'm referring to the new meaning that the word "talking" has gained in the last few years; where you're not officially established as a couple but it's understood that you're together. Men think of it as keeping their options open in case their soul-mate, or whatever you believe in, is still out there.
From a psychological standpoint, Mesquita defined a lasting love as having three things: passion, an intimate friendship, and commitment. So according to this theory, the relationship that these men are in is not a lasting, loving relationship. So why bother to stay in the first relationship if you're not totally committed?
Mesquita seemed to think it was just the opposite, that "cheating is way of ending the relationship without the confrontation. I don't think we as a people, know how to end a relationship."
Whatever happened to the dreaded, "we need to talk?" When did we become so cowardly that we're unable to get out of a relationship that makes us miserable without completely disrespecting the other person?
