Spring Break
Sex and the Cigar
Issue date: 4/7/09 Section: Editorial/Opinion
04/07/09 - Dear Sex and the Cigar,
A few months ago, I went on a terrible date. He was really intense and emotional, and it totally freaked me out. The next day I told him that I just wanted to be friends and that was that. On Saturday night, I saw him at a party and he was looking pretty good, at least he did in my intoxicated state, so I decided to give it a second chance. I know that we have some sort of connection, but I'm not really sure what that connection is. He's still really intense and emotional, but I just want a fun summer fling. My heart's telling me to just go with the flow, but rationality tells me that I shouldn't date another potential psycho. Am I getting in way over my head?
- Confused
Dear Confused,
It worries me that you say you would be dating "another" potential psycho. Do you often question the sanity of your dates this much? If that's the case, you may just be picking the wrong men. That's another story.
Intense and emotional guys can go one of two ways. First, he could be a really great guy, who got screwed over by an ex or something and is just licking his wounds a bit too much. That might be worth it, in the long run, but you'll have to put some effort into it. If all you're looking for is "fun summer fling," this might not be the best choice for you. Truth be told, relationships are work, and if this guy's got some baggage, that means extra work. Decide if he's worth it before you cast him to the side or for a roll in the hay. (Note: Emotional guys tend to get attached after sex. Just sayin')
Second scenario? He really is a psycho. Is he calling you incessantly? Facebooking you and randomly showing up in places that you are? All signs point to: RUN. Take it as you want, but in some instances, it doesn't pay to be "too nice" to a guy, and you might want to be a bit selfish in this scenario.
-Tina FookMi
Dear Confused,
Sounds like you've got a potential stage five clinger on your hands. As someone who has a habit of learning lessons the hard way, my advice is to cut your losses and settle for friendship. While expressing emotion in a relationship is healthy, I have a feeling this guy is kind of needy. Though first impressions are not always the best impressions, they usually offer some type of insight into a person's character.
If you were "freaked out" on your date, chances are you two just aren't that compatible. Since you're looking for a fun summer fling, steer clear of the excessively emotional types. They'll only drag you down with them.
-Bambi Trousersnake
A few months ago, I went on a terrible date. He was really intense and emotional, and it totally freaked me out. The next day I told him that I just wanted to be friends and that was that. On Saturday night, I saw him at a party and he was looking pretty good, at least he did in my intoxicated state, so I decided to give it a second chance. I know that we have some sort of connection, but I'm not really sure what that connection is. He's still really intense and emotional, but I just want a fun summer fling. My heart's telling me to just go with the flow, but rationality tells me that I shouldn't date another potential psycho. Am I getting in way over my head?
- Confused
Dear Confused,
It worries me that you say you would be dating "another" potential psycho. Do you often question the sanity of your dates this much? If that's the case, you may just be picking the wrong men. That's another story.
Intense and emotional guys can go one of two ways. First, he could be a really great guy, who got screwed over by an ex or something and is just licking his wounds a bit too much. That might be worth it, in the long run, but you'll have to put some effort into it. If all you're looking for is "fun summer fling," this might not be the best choice for you. Truth be told, relationships are work, and if this guy's got some baggage, that means extra work. Decide if he's worth it before you cast him to the side or for a roll in the hay. (Note: Emotional guys tend to get attached after sex. Just sayin')
Second scenario? He really is a psycho. Is he calling you incessantly? Facebooking you and randomly showing up in places that you are? All signs point to: RUN. Take it as you want, but in some instances, it doesn't pay to be "too nice" to a guy, and you might want to be a bit selfish in this scenario.
-Tina FookMi
Dear Confused,
Sounds like you've got a potential stage five clinger on your hands. As someone who has a habit of learning lessons the hard way, my advice is to cut your losses and settle for friendship. While expressing emotion in a relationship is healthy, I have a feeling this guy is kind of needy. Though first impressions are not always the best impressions, they usually offer some type of insight into a person's character.
If you were "freaked out" on your date, chances are you two just aren't that compatible. Since you're looking for a fun summer fling, steer clear of the excessively emotional types. They'll only drag you down with them.
-Bambi Trousersnake
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