Thanksgiving extravaganza: Things John is thankful for
John Holmes
Issue date: 11/24/09 Section: Entertainment
11/24/09 - It's ironic that Thanksgiving falls during that time of year filled with final exams, term papers and the prospect of another lousy football season looming. It may seem like University of Rhode Island students have precious little to be thankful for. However, we are fortunate to always have that one escape from our lives--pop culture. Here is what I'll be thankful for this Thanksgiving:
While it would be awful to say that I'm thankful for the brutal assault Rihanna suffered earlier this year, I think it is fair to say that I'm thankful she's resilient enough to have channeled her emotions into her song "Russian Roulette," probably the best single of her career.
I am thankful, or at least choose to try to be thankful, that vampire hysteria has finally reached its point of maximum pop-cultural saturation and that all there is left to do is let it pass like every other awful fad. Until next year, when it's werewolves.
I am also thankful that I no longer listen to the radio, so that I can actually enjoy hearing songs like "Fireflies" by Owl City, "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga, or "Sweet Dreams" by Beyonce without vomiting with rage over how overplayed they are.
As an added bonus to not listening to the radio, I am thankful that I am only very rarely subjected to the aural assault that is "Whatcha Say" by Jason DeRulo, "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus, or "Replay" by Sean Kingston.
I am thankful for the few days I have left before every store or other public place begins to blast nothing but Christmas music for an entire month. (What happened to the twelve days of Christmas?)
I am thankful for "Glee," because any show that could produce a wheelchair dance routine to "Proud Mary," or the phrase "You think this is hard? Try having hepatitis, that's hard!" absolutely must be worth watching.
I am thankful that "The Simpsons," "Family Guy," "The Cleveland Show," "American Dad" and "South Park" have all been so terrible lately, so that I can finally grow the hell up and stop watching cartoons.
And last but not least, since Thanksgiving is a time for family, I'd like to sincerely say that I am thankful that I will be spending my holiday with a loving, unified family--unlike the Gosselins!
While it would be awful to say that I'm thankful for the brutal assault Rihanna suffered earlier this year, I think it is fair to say that I'm thankful she's resilient enough to have channeled her emotions into her song "Russian Roulette," probably the best single of her career.
I am thankful, or at least choose to try to be thankful, that vampire hysteria has finally reached its point of maximum pop-cultural saturation and that all there is left to do is let it pass like every other awful fad. Until next year, when it's werewolves.
I am also thankful that I no longer listen to the radio, so that I can actually enjoy hearing songs like "Fireflies" by Owl City, "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga, or "Sweet Dreams" by Beyonce without vomiting with rage over how overplayed they are.
As an added bonus to not listening to the radio, I am thankful that I am only very rarely subjected to the aural assault that is "Whatcha Say" by Jason DeRulo, "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus, or "Replay" by Sean Kingston.
I am thankful for the few days I have left before every store or other public place begins to blast nothing but Christmas music for an entire month. (What happened to the twelve days of Christmas?)
I am thankful for "Glee," because any show that could produce a wheelchair dance routine to "Proud Mary," or the phrase "You think this is hard? Try having hepatitis, that's hard!" absolutely must be worth watching.
I am thankful that "The Simpsons," "Family Guy," "The Cleveland Show," "American Dad" and "South Park" have all been so terrible lately, so that I can finally grow the hell up and stop watching cartoons.
And last but not least, since Thanksgiving is a time for family, I'd like to sincerely say that I am thankful that I will be spending my holiday with a loving, unified family--unlike the Gosselins!
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