Column: Unfortunately, a star was born today
Greg Gentile
Issue date: 12/2/09 Section: Editorial/Opinion
12/2/09 - On this day, in 1981, Britney Spears was born. Who the hell would let that happen? Why was there no Nostradamus prophecy that foretold the tragedy about to ensue upon the world?
She started as a cute Mouseketeer in the Mickey Mouse Club alongside Justin Timberlake, the future catalyst to her collapse that rivaled the fall of the Berlin Wall. She used to be so sweet, cute and beautiful - a southern belle. Didn't every mom want her daughter to be like Spears, the poster child of innocence?
When Spears first went mainstream it was with her hit single "Hit Me Baby One More Time." She had every boy from the age of 12 to 25 drooling over the forever lasting fantasy of a Catholic schoolgirl. That was then, before we found out she was actually 15 years old during the filming of the video, which in return, made every self-respecting man purge his last meal as they watched the borderline child pornography.
Should this have been a sign of things to come? Since when was it ok for Spears and her family to condone prancing around as a sex icon at the ripe old age of 15?
Well, everything went smoothly for Spears after her debut. She had hit record, after hit record becoming more provocative as she grew older with music videos such as "I'm a slave 4 U." As much as any guy would hate to admit it, they watched that music video just as much as Christina Milian's "Dip It Low" and Christina Aguliera's "Dirrrty."
Spears went on to date Justin Timberlake, creating the biggest pop power couple since Whitney and Bobby.
But lets take a minute and ponder over the previous statement- "since Whitney and Bobby." Whitney has gone and smoked her kneecaps off and Bobby can't even form words other than "baby boo." That is an example of what not to do: throw away your stardom and become a crack head with an abusive, unfaithful husband.
Then Spears and Timberlake split, which brought the corruption and demise of American culture and society. Soon she would be married to Jason Alexander for 55 hours. She married a guy with the same name of the man who plays George on "Seinfeld."
She started as a cute Mouseketeer in the Mickey Mouse Club alongside Justin Timberlake, the future catalyst to her collapse that rivaled the fall of the Berlin Wall. She used to be so sweet, cute and beautiful - a southern belle. Didn't every mom want her daughter to be like Spears, the poster child of innocence?
When Spears first went mainstream it was with her hit single "Hit Me Baby One More Time." She had every boy from the age of 12 to 25 drooling over the forever lasting fantasy of a Catholic schoolgirl. That was then, before we found out she was actually 15 years old during the filming of the video, which in return, made every self-respecting man purge his last meal as they watched the borderline child pornography.
Should this have been a sign of things to come? Since when was it ok for Spears and her family to condone prancing around as a sex icon at the ripe old age of 15?
Well, everything went smoothly for Spears after her debut. She had hit record, after hit record becoming more provocative as she grew older with music videos such as "I'm a slave 4 U." As much as any guy would hate to admit it, they watched that music video just as much as Christina Milian's "Dip It Low" and Christina Aguliera's "Dirrrty."
Spears went on to date Justin Timberlake, creating the biggest pop power couple since Whitney and Bobby.
But lets take a minute and ponder over the previous statement- "since Whitney and Bobby." Whitney has gone and smoked her kneecaps off and Bobby can't even form words other than "baby boo." That is an example of what not to do: throw away your stardom and become a crack head with an abusive, unfaithful husband.
Then Spears and Timberlake split, which brought the corruption and demise of American culture and society. Soon she would be married to Jason Alexander for 55 hours. She married a guy with the same name of the man who plays George on "Seinfeld."
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
Alex Kowalski
posted 12/03/09 @ 12:52 AM EST
Wow. There were seriously no other submissions that were better than this?
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